Casualties Of The Mind...

The storm is coming but I don't mind. People are dying, I close my blinds. All that I know is I'm breathing now. I want to change the world, instead I sleep. I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay today. So I act cool, on the outside. But it's eating me alive... Cause when it comes to you, there's nothing I can do. I've heard it all before. I see it in your eyes. I'm the compromise. Well, I can't take another slow goodbye. We took one step forward, two steps back. So confused it's like I'm lost. What went wrong, what made you go? Don't pretend you don't know. When did we fall apart, or did you lie from the start when you said it's only you. I was blind, such a fool. Figured we were un-breakable. It was you and me against the world. I gotta know what made me unbeautiful. This is my one and only voice, so listen close it's only for today. This is me. I'm unchangeable. You say it's all in my head and the things I say just don't make sense. So where you been then, don't go all coy. Don't turn it around on me like it's my fault... I see you, you see me... differently... I'm not angry, I'm just saying... sometimes goodbye is a second chance. I'm not afraid of what I have to say. You tell me that you love me, but you never want to see me again. I am giving up on greener grasses. All I can do is keep breathing, all we can do is keep breathing... I just want to feel something today. I just want to know today, know that maybe I will be okay.

I cannot go to the ocean. I cannot try the streets at night. I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind. So you're gone and I'm haunted, and I'll bet you are just fine. Did I make it just that easy to walk right in and out of my life. Goodbye my almost lover. Goodbye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be?

Forgive me first love, but I'm tired. I need to get away, to feel again. Try to understand why. Don't get so close, you'll change my mind. Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it's bribing me to doubt myself... simply tired... I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun. And honey you know me it's all or none. There were sounds in my head. Little voices whispering that I should go and this should end. Oh and I found myself listening. 'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you. All I know is that I should. And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you. All I know is that I should.

'Cause she will love you more than I could. She who dares to stand where I stood...
'Cause he will love you more than I could. He who dares to stand where I stood...

*So little to say, but so much time... These days when I see you, you make it look like I'm see-through. Do tell me why you waste our time, when your heart ain't in it, and your not satisfied. You know I know just how you feel, I find myself starting to feel that way too... You grace me with your cold shoulder. Whenever you look at me I wish I was her. So, goodbye my almost lover. Goodbye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. can't you just let me be. So long my loveless romance, my back is turned on you. Should have known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do...

Called her mamma, cried like a baby to her best friend. If they've seen her, they ain't sayin... Now, I'm cursing like a fool, praying it ain't too late All I wanna do is fix my mistakes. Find her beg her for one more try, until then damn it I'll.. Be driving like hell. Flying like crazy down the highway. Calling everyone we know. Stopping any place she might be. Going any place she might go. Beating on the dash, screaming out her name at the windshield... Tears soaking up my face... If I had loved her this much all along, maybe maybe, yeah maybe... She wouldn't be gone..

Oh we'd never want to see you unhappy. We thought you'd want the same for us. So, goodbye our hopeless lover. Good bye our hopeless dream. We're trying not think about you. Can't you just let us be. So long our loveless romance, our backs are turned on you. Should have known you'd bring us heartache. Almost lovers always do...

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
Unbeautiful, Slow Goodbye - Lesley Roy
Cold Shoulder, First Love - Adele
Be Ok, Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson
Swans - Unkle Bob
Second Chance - Shinedown
Not Meant To Be - Theory Of A Deadman
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
She Wouldn't Be Gone - Blake Shelton

For those of you who know all 3 sides to this story, or are willing to try... here are our voices. Here is our song. Will you stop to listen, or will you simply carry on... I say this aloud, in the only way I know how... I know you, though you hide from me... I still understand the things you do... I just wish you'd hear me this once... because maybe, just maybe... I thought you'd benefit from the silence I've taken in these past few months... I have your answers, I've had them since day one... but you had too much pride to listen to the words I'd begun... I wish you'd stop and hear me out... you may not call me friend, but I still know your heart.

Music For The Soul...

Recent Obsessions: Albums
Kelly Clarkson - My December
Erin McCarley - Love Save The Empty
Il Divo - Il Divo
Fall Out Boy - Folie a Deux
A Fine Frenzy - One Cell In The Sea
Rachmaninoff - Classics, and Loved Concertos
The Fray - The Fray
Missy Higgins - On A Clear Night
Miranda Lambert - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Brooke Fraser - What To Do With Daylight

Recent Obsessions: Songs
Michael Buble - Everything, Feeling Good
Erin McCarley - Love Save The Empty, Blue Suitcases
A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
Miranda Lambert - Kerosene, More Like Her
Death Cab For Cutie - What Sarah Said
Fiona Apple - Tymps (Sick In The Head), Not About Love
Kelly Clarkson - Sober, Maybe, Beautiful Disaster
Lady GaGa - Poker Face
Brittany Spears - Unusual You


Newly Recieved: Albums
Billy Ray Cyrus - Back To Tennessee

Oh The Complications Of The Heart...

"Your stuff is good."

"Not good enough."

"Look, why not?"

"I want to draw something that means something to somebody you know. I want to draw blind faith, or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. Like when you go and see a really great band live for the first time you know. Nobody's saying it, but you're all thinking it. You have something to believe in again. I want to draw that feeling. But, I can't. And if I can't be great at it, then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."

E. E. Cummings wrote: To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

Can a person ever truly understand a piece of art. Is there even a way to fully comprehend all that is said in a simple poem.

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

A Glance is never enough to capture all that is surrounding you. A song won't encompass every detail of an emotion.

A Picture only speaks a thousand words, and our line of sight only goes so far... but possibilities don't. A work of Art is the heart of an artist. It is a piece of who they are, and all we find is a meaning for us. We are a selfish people, in a selfish world. We struggle to understand another persons reasoning, or their pain. We try, but we can't because it isn't our own. We can only sympathize, empathize to our own level of experience, and even then if you were to write a song, create a sculpture, or paint a picture... you are limited to a thousand words, 3 stanzas, a bridge, and a chorus to depict an emotion not even you don't fully understand. Every time your song was sung by someone new, each person that runs their fingers along the lines of your sculpture, loses themselves in your painting... you find an aspect you didn't realize you had placed in there. It is both a great and horrible feeling. Gratitude and a happy tenderness at being able to touch someone else, mixed with a sad pang of disappointment at not catching that piece of your heart hidden in your creation before you displayed it to the world to find for you. We are a selfish people with selfish moments. A number of songs go unheard because we are all singing. No one stops to listen anymore. We are all too busy pushing to be felt, and appreciated. We strive too hard to make our artwork known, but how can we ever be expected to be discovered if we don't first discover someone else...

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours. - Ayn Rand

Oh the complications of the heart...

La musique est mon poison

...I learned at a young age music speaks to all people. No matter race, age, religion. Music knows no barrier. Put a word to a rhythm and you've created a magic everyone can experience... So, Step outside yourself and... See their side, their story...

We all fall into it. We all share a connection with it. Music. It is my poison. It is the first thing I turn to after a bad day, a triumph, a spiritual moment, or a heart break. It's my refuge, my happy place.
We all label music, and often times we are labeled by the music we enjoy. But when you take away the music artist, strip off the music behind it, and just read the lyrics... you most likely wouldn't be able to tell what genre it went into. The interior of each song is where you find the heart, and soul of that song. Just like people. Look past the exterior, and what you first see and listen to their heart song... I hear a song, and I look at it from my perspective. "Oh my gosh, you have to listen to this song... it describes me perfectly!" That is when I halt and I have to remind myself that song isn't about you. It's about the artist, and what they see, but that is the magic of music. It is universal. It is something that can, and will be likened unto everyone. When you listen to a song, take a step back and try to listen to it in the way the person sitting next to you is listening to it. Watch as that song takes on a whole new meaning...
For me personally I didn't used to stop and wonder what the story behind the song was until I was about 10 years old. I grew up listening to my dad write music, writing lyrics, and figuring out the right guitar chords to express what he was saying. I remember the night I asked him what he meant by the lyrics to his song 'The Road' and the story he gave me behind it. I started to look at my daddy a bit differently. He became a bit more human to me. Listening to Not An Addict by K's Choice once again hit me with a different side of the world. Growing up in Bountiful Utah I was sheltered from just about everything. Going to K-mart was a night on the town. For the most part I sang to myself outside in the backyard up in one of our apple trees, or under the peach tree. I wrote most of my poetry beginnings hidden in this corner of my yard that was completely encased by ivy, and sun flowers that grew to impossible heights. My childhood was spent in this jungle, and all I remember is the music that filled my head. I had my own soundtrack. I didn't realize there were really drug addicts, or suicide. There wasn't such a thing as murder, or rape, or death... outside of old people. I didn't realize there was a sadness or pain outside of listening to parents fighting, or falling out of trees. Listening to this song opened my eyes to a new side of things. It wasn't until I was in high school that I realized these things were real, and to have someone who had fought a real drug addiction was incredibly powerful to me. I remember the first night I looked at a song I connected with on a high level from someone elses perspective. I had played a specific song to try and say something to the person next to me in the car. He heard the song and it made him laugh because of the context of the song. Instead of hearing my side, he heard his own. After dropping him off I replayed the song to figure out why he left my car laughing at how perfect the song was. The song was Boys Don't Cry by Plumb. I heard the song from a whole new perspective, and it changed the way he and I interacted because I finally understood why he felt the way he did... it had been an argument we'd both tried to argue, believing we were right, but being un-able to fully express why to the other person leading to more frustration... But to step out and listen to his side I understood his side and I changed what I was doing... and it made us better.
When we feel as though we aren't the only one in the world going through something, we smile. We learn. We grow. When we feel validated, and understood... We smile. We learn, and we grow. When we step outside of ourselves and are able to look at something from another's perspective we smile a little bigger. We learn a bit more, and we grow into that much better of a person. Music does all of that... it fills us with emotion, conviction, desire... no matter the genre. Music is universal... Music is my weakness. Music is my poison.

Brooke Fraser translated her pensive, Christian-themed folk-pop into massive commercial success, emerging as one of the best-selling New Zealand singer/songwriters in history via her 2003 debut LP, What to Do with Daylight. The daughter of Bernie Fraser, a onetime star with the New Zealand All Black rugby squad, she was born in Wellington on December 15, 1983, studying piano from the ages of seven to 17. At 12, Fraser composed her first original song, and a few years later she taught herself guitar. Following a breakout performance at the Christian music festival Parachute in 2000, Fraser relocated to Auckland, signing a management deal with producer Matty J and inking a multi-album deal with Sony; What to Do with Daylight followed in late 2003, debuting atop the Kiwi pop charts and ultimately going platinum seven times over. Fraser traveled to Los Angeles to record the follow-up, Albertine, which also debuted at number one when it was released in December 2006. ~ J.A. -All Music Guide

We may not be considered friends anymore, but I still know you...

The Orion Connection... Ish Friends... Left To A Memory... Bruised But Not Broken...

This is my story... and I'll never let it make me cry...

Color My World...

Truth Cannot Be Hidden...

Truth Should Not Be Hidden...

Truth Will Not Be Hidden...

A Hand To Take Hold Of The Scene - OTH

Favorite piece of music in this set...



The song is called Manhatten From The Sky... the whole song is brilliant. This only show cases a bit of it.



Second favorite song in this set.