Please Stop Laughing At Me - Jodee Blanco

TO STAND ALONE IS A FRIGHTENING PROSPECT, BUT TO LOSE WHO YOU ARE FOR FEAR OF BEING RIDICULED, OR TREATED AS AN OUTCAST IS A FAR WORSE HAPPENING.

I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE A STORY OF A GIRL WHO WAS NEVER ACCEPTED BY THE 'IN' CROWDS AT SCHOOL. SOMEONE EVERYONE MADE FUN OF. SOMEONE WHO NEVER GOT INVITED TO PAIRTIES. SOMEONE WHO WAS SO LONELY, SHE FELT LOST TO THE WORLD; BUT IN HER HEART SHE KNEW WHO SHE WAS. THIS GIRL HAD WILD, WIRY, HAIR, THAT LOOKED AS IF IT WAS NEVER COMBED. SHE WASN'T LIKE OTHER KIDS AT SCHOOL. SHE WOULD RATHER SIT AND WRITE POETRY, AND MAKE UP SONGS, THAN HANG OUT AND TALK ABOUT BOYS. SHE ACHED TO HAVE FRIENDS, BUT WASN'T INTERESTED IN THE SAME THING AS HER PEERS. THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS WIERD. THEY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WAS DIFFERENT, AND CHOSE NOT TO TRY. RATHER THAN OPENING THEIR HEARTS TO THIS STRANGE, BEAUTIFUL FLOWER, THEY CAST HER OUT OF THE GARDEN. SHE DIDN'T FIT IN. AS THE YEARS PASSED SHE NEVER LET GO OF WHO SHE WAS. INSTEAD SHE GREW THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL PAIN, AND DISCOVERED SHE HAD A GIFT. SHE HAD THE GIFT OF SONG. SHE DISCOVERED SHE COULD TAKE THOSE MELODIES INSIDE OF HER HEAD AND CREATE MUSIC. SHE COULD REACH INTO A PERSON'S SOUL. THIS GIFT TOUCHED MILLIONS. THAT MISFIT WHO EVERYONE PUT SO MUCH UPON, WHO WAS THE BUTT OF EVERY JOKE, AND THAT TARGET OF SO MUCH CRUELTY WAS JANIS JOPLIN. WE ALL KNOW HER MUSIC. IT HELPED DEFINE A GENERATION. JANIS JOPLIN LOST HER LIFE IN HER TWENTIES TO A DRUG OVER-DOSE. SHE HAD USED DRUGS TO ESCAPE THE TAUNTING AND THE TEASING BECAUSE OF HER DIFFERENCES. BUT BECAUSE JANIS JOPLIN DARED TO STAND ALONE, AND REMAIN TRUE TO WHO SHE WAS A WORLD OF PEOPLE HAVE BENEFITTED FROM THE MESSAGES SHE SHARED.

Forgive Me

Father, I'm going through some heavy things
It seems like this world ain't getting any better
The more we try to get closer to You
The farther we run from Your throne

I've spent so many nights wonderin' when will it end
When will the day come when happiness begins
I'm running the race but it seems too hard to win
I'm sick of mourning my stomach is throwing up in the morning

I'm calling for help and watching it melt away
My heart's been put on display and put away
In many ways, many times I told myself it was ok
And anger was the price that was paid
While these faded dreams just screamed to bring them home

The burden was too heavy I kept running from the throne
I can't take it any longer
I can taste my spirit hunger
God please help me get home

[Chorus:]
Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I'm not scared cause You're holding my breath
I only fear that I don't have enough time left
To tell the world that there's no time left, Lord please
Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I'm not scared cause You're holding my breath
I only fear that I don't have enough time left
To tell the world that there's no time left

I've come to terms that I'm burning both sides of the rope
And I'm hoping that self-control would kick in before I'm choking off
The sin that be destroying every fiber I got
I need the Lord in every way I'll never make it I'm not
Going back to the way I was before Christ in my life
I couldn't do it I would lose it there's no point to the fight
And I'm writing this song, for the people who don't belong
I pray away the pain you feel from all the things that went wrong
Inside a life that's filled with anger and disappointment
Cause daddy treated you weaker than all of the other kids
It's annoying and I feel for all of you who wanna give up
You feel stuck I feel the same way Lord help us stay up
You couldn't pay me to abandon the idea of true hope
That I could make it through this life into a place where there's no crying
I'm dying to find You with open arms when I go
Knowing You love me and You waiting to give rest to my soul

Lord I don't know what I'm struggling for
There's go to be more
Than this life I know
But still I'm here fighting to never give up
I find strength in Your love
And You will see me through

[Chorus:]
Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I'm not scared cause You're holding my breath
I only fear that I don't have enough time left
To tell the world that there's no time left, Lord please
Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I'm not scared cause You're holding my breath
I only fear that I don't have enough time left
To tell the world that there's no time left

Damn It, Give Me The Truth!

Thoughts Of A Witness...

official music video link :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-bwDVndSxA

Casualties Of The Mind...

The storm is coming but I don't mind. People are dying, I close my blinds. All that I know is I'm breathing now. I want to change the world, instead I sleep. I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay today. So I act cool, on the outside. But it's eating me alive... Cause when it comes to you, there's nothing I can do. I've heard it all before. I see it in your eyes. I'm the compromise. Well, I can't take another slow goodbye. We took one step forward, two steps back. So confused it's like I'm lost. What went wrong, what made you go? Don't pretend you don't know. When did we fall apart, or did you lie from the start when you said it's only you. I was blind, such a fool. Figured we were un-breakable. It was you and me against the world. I gotta know what made me unbeautiful. This is my one and only voice, so listen close it's only for today. This is me. I'm unchangeable. You say it's all in my head and the things I say just don't make sense. So where you been then, don't go all coy. Don't turn it around on me like it's my fault... I see you, you see me... differently... I'm not angry, I'm just saying... sometimes goodbye is a second chance. I'm not afraid of what I have to say. You tell me that you love me, but you never want to see me again. I am giving up on greener grasses. All I can do is keep breathing, all we can do is keep breathing... I just want to feel something today. I just want to know today, know that maybe I will be okay.

I cannot go to the ocean. I cannot try the streets at night. I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind. So you're gone and I'm haunted, and I'll bet you are just fine. Did I make it just that easy to walk right in and out of my life. Goodbye my almost lover. Goodbye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be?

Forgive me first love, but I'm tired. I need to get away, to feel again. Try to understand why. Don't get so close, you'll change my mind. Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it's bribing me to doubt myself... simply tired... I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun. And honey you know me it's all or none. There were sounds in my head. Little voices whispering that I should go and this should end. Oh and I found myself listening. 'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you. All I know is that I should. And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you. All I know is that I should.

'Cause she will love you more than I could. She who dares to stand where I stood...
'Cause he will love you more than I could. He who dares to stand where I stood...

*So little to say, but so much time... These days when I see you, you make it look like I'm see-through. Do tell me why you waste our time, when your heart ain't in it, and your not satisfied. You know I know just how you feel, I find myself starting to feel that way too... You grace me with your cold shoulder. Whenever you look at me I wish I was her. So, goodbye my almost lover. Goodbye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. can't you just let me be. So long my loveless romance, my back is turned on you. Should have known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do...

Called her mamma, cried like a baby to her best friend. If they've seen her, they ain't sayin... Now, I'm cursing like a fool, praying it ain't too late All I wanna do is fix my mistakes. Find her beg her for one more try, until then damn it I'll.. Be driving like hell. Flying like crazy down the highway. Calling everyone we know. Stopping any place she might be. Going any place she might go. Beating on the dash, screaming out her name at the windshield... Tears soaking up my face... If I had loved her this much all along, maybe maybe, yeah maybe... She wouldn't be gone..

Oh we'd never want to see you unhappy. We thought you'd want the same for us. So, goodbye our hopeless lover. Good bye our hopeless dream. We're trying not think about you. Can't you just let us be. So long our loveless romance, our backs are turned on you. Should have known you'd bring us heartache. Almost lovers always do...

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
Unbeautiful, Slow Goodbye - Lesley Roy
Cold Shoulder, First Love - Adele
Be Ok, Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson
Swans - Unkle Bob
Second Chance - Shinedown
Not Meant To Be - Theory Of A Deadman
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
She Wouldn't Be Gone - Blake Shelton

For those of you who know all 3 sides to this story, or are willing to try... here are our voices. Here is our song. Will you stop to listen, or will you simply carry on... I say this aloud, in the only way I know how... I know you, though you hide from me... I still understand the things you do... I just wish you'd hear me this once... because maybe, just maybe... I thought you'd benefit from the silence I've taken in these past few months... I have your answers, I've had them since day one... but you had too much pride to listen to the words I'd begun... I wish you'd stop and hear me out... you may not call me friend, but I still know your heart.

Music For The Soul...

Recent Obsessions: Albums
Kelly Clarkson - My December
Erin McCarley - Love Save The Empty
Il Divo - Il Divo
Fall Out Boy - Folie a Deux
A Fine Frenzy - One Cell In The Sea
Rachmaninoff - Classics, and Loved Concertos
The Fray - The Fray
Missy Higgins - On A Clear Night
Miranda Lambert - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Brooke Fraser - What To Do With Daylight

Recent Obsessions: Songs
Michael Buble - Everything, Feeling Good
Erin McCarley - Love Save The Empty, Blue Suitcases
A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
Miranda Lambert - Kerosene, More Like Her
Death Cab For Cutie - What Sarah Said
Fiona Apple - Tymps (Sick In The Head), Not About Love
Kelly Clarkson - Sober, Maybe, Beautiful Disaster
Lady GaGa - Poker Face
Brittany Spears - Unusual You


Newly Recieved: Albums
Billy Ray Cyrus - Back To Tennessee

Oh The Complications Of The Heart...

"Your stuff is good."

"Not good enough."

"Look, why not?"

"I want to draw something that means something to somebody you know. I want to draw blind faith, or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. Like when you go and see a really great band live for the first time you know. Nobody's saying it, but you're all thinking it. You have something to believe in again. I want to draw that feeling. But, I can't. And if I can't be great at it, then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."

E. E. Cummings wrote: To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

Can a person ever truly understand a piece of art. Is there even a way to fully comprehend all that is said in a simple poem.

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

A Glance is never enough to capture all that is surrounding you. A song won't encompass every detail of an emotion.

A Picture only speaks a thousand words, and our line of sight only goes so far... but possibilities don't. A work of Art is the heart of an artist. It is a piece of who they are, and all we find is a meaning for us. We are a selfish people, in a selfish world. We struggle to understand another persons reasoning, or their pain. We try, but we can't because it isn't our own. We can only sympathize, empathize to our own level of experience, and even then if you were to write a song, create a sculpture, or paint a picture... you are limited to a thousand words, 3 stanzas, a bridge, and a chorus to depict an emotion not even you don't fully understand. Every time your song was sung by someone new, each person that runs their fingers along the lines of your sculpture, loses themselves in your painting... you find an aspect you didn't realize you had placed in there. It is both a great and horrible feeling. Gratitude and a happy tenderness at being able to touch someone else, mixed with a sad pang of disappointment at not catching that piece of your heart hidden in your creation before you displayed it to the world to find for you. We are a selfish people with selfish moments. A number of songs go unheard because we are all singing. No one stops to listen anymore. We are all too busy pushing to be felt, and appreciated. We strive too hard to make our artwork known, but how can we ever be expected to be discovered if we don't first discover someone else...

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours. - Ayn Rand

Oh the complications of the heart...